Posted by Raw Thoughts at 10:39 AM
I will be going on that date today. I am a little nervous about the whole ordeal. We haven't spoken since that day we spoke at church. I guess thats good right? that enables more to be talked about on the date! Said with the assumption that I would not be clamming up into an unsociable mut!
Okay I have that school-boy nervousness! The kind that occurs right before a test that you're unsure about! I don't like this feeling!
Why does this feel like this is the only date I will ever have? Why do I feel like I am banking the rest of my life on this date? Is there alot riding on this date? I am making myself more nervous just talking on the inept possibility! I just cannot take it!
More to come!
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 6:48 AM
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 3:37 PM
I, in the worst way, would like to step to this girl. Here's the problem, I'm a considerate guy. I don't want to take advantage of her feelings knowing I'm fighting a gay demon inside of me! I really think I'd be a good candidate for her and she might even like me too. We've flirted on occassion. I believe she may be too young for me. I wanted a saved woman that was closer to God than I was. This one is just getting her feet wet in college! She can't wait to turn 21 and I have been there for some time now. I have been the places where she wants to experiment. I just don't know.
I've longed for a wife ever since I turned 18 and have never had luck successfully dating. At the same time I've always tried dating secular women (aints)! I just don't want to take advantage of anyone for my selfish needs. I don't wanna ruin anyone else's life because of my confusion. A traditional family is what I want. A wife is what I need! Its better to marry than to burn, right? thats scripture! lol
Why do I get caught out there? Maybe I will find that woman that will help me out of this confusion, I don't know! We'll see
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 1:41 AM