I came back around the scene because I was bored. I came back around the scene because a fellow blogger beat and whipped me! Whipped because of inactivity. Whipped because of having progress and not noting it! So, I've decided to post just because a blogger told me to!
I wouldn't say that I have been making progress exactly. I just haven't been digressing into a worsened state. I have been out with two more girls but it hasn't been anywhere. On to the next one! Right? I think so... There's one out there for me so I'll find her! Maybe...
I was entertaining a chick wit a dick. Does that count as a female? She looks fine as brown gravy and could pass for a female too! I mean, she fooled me! After the date, she told me there was something important I should know. I had her in my car and she just grabbed my hand. She held it for a minute. Silence. She moved it and placed it on her dick and I was done! It was all over. I took a trannie out on a date and liked it!
This was a "just because moment!
Just Because
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 5:42 AM 22 comments
I wanted a church girl!
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 8:07 PM 5 comments
I can't believe this!
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 12:21 AM 4 comments
Let me be real!
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Posted by Raw Thoughts at 1:05 AM 5 comments
My Date!
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 10:39 AM 9 comments
Today is the Day!
I will be going on that date today. I am a little nervous about the whole ordeal. We haven't spoken since that day we spoke at church. I guess thats good right? that enables more to be talked about on the date! Said with the assumption that I would not be clamming up into an unsociable mut!
Okay I have that school-boy nervousness! The kind that occurs right before a test that you're unsure about! I don't like this feeling!
Why does this feel like this is the only date I will ever have? Why do I feel like I am banking the rest of my life on this date? Is there alot riding on this date? I am making myself more nervous just talking on the inept possibility! I just cannot take it!
More to come!
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 6:48 AM 2 comments
Setup!
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 3:37 PM 2 comments
Scaredy Cat
I, in the worst way, would like to step to this girl. Here's the problem, I'm a considerate guy. I don't want to take advantage of her feelings knowing I'm fighting a gay demon inside of me! I really think I'd be a good candidate for her and she might even like me too. We've flirted on occassion. I believe she may be too young for me. I wanted a saved woman that was closer to God than I was. This one is just getting her feet wet in college! She can't wait to turn 21 and I have been there for some time now. I have been the places where she wants to experiment. I just don't know.
I've longed for a wife ever since I turned 18 and have never had luck successfully dating. At the same time I've always tried dating secular women (aints)! I just don't want to take advantage of anyone for my selfish needs. I don't wanna ruin anyone else's life because of my confusion. A traditional family is what I want. A wife is what I need! Its better to marry than to burn, right? thats scripture! lol
Why do I get caught out there? Maybe I will find that woman that will help me out of this confusion, I don't know! We'll see
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 1:41 AM 5 comments
Let's Get It Out There
Since I am pretty messed up, and I want to change, I need to know what I need to change. What am I doing wrong that needs to change? That's the purpose of this post!
- I'm gay! (shocker?)
- I cuss like a sailor! I have been very adamant about not cussing on here!
- I love sex! Sex outside of marriage is a sin, so I need to change that!
- I judge people! I think the gay community calls it "reading people"! :-/
- I have this drinking habit. Its not out of control, but I have to present my body a living sacrifice! Can't be all cloudy and tipsy for God!
- I am having urges to smoke! That's a habit I don't want to have. Need to drop that urge!
- Devotion has been a weak point of mine. I give God part of me, part-time! (need I say more?)
- I have this partying spirit. Its fun loving and it is going to be a hard spirit to part with.
Please pray for me and for my strength in the Lord!
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 7:36 PM 11 comments
My short introduction!
This blog will be about me and my battle to break free from this gay demon! I never thought it would be this much trouble and an effort to try to break free but the battle has been rough. There have been complications along the way. I believe I will make it.
Its my journey as it happens. no fallacies or fiction, just the pure truth! Maybe I will get my Donnie McKlurkin Story yet!
Posted by Raw Thoughts at 9:59 PM 15 comments